a rag-bag of jumbled thoughts

I haven't blogged about anything of much significance lately, partly because there have been too many things going on, and partly because I seem to be going through a 'rollercoaster emotion' phase. Rather than not finding enough important things to discuss, there are so many things I wish to talk about, they criss-cross in my mind, and I can't find the right words for what I want to say.

Work is very busy at the moment, I've been stuck at one point for a couple of months, but having finally broken through I can move on to the next stage. Unfortunately the next stage is the cloning of over 80 gene constructs, so I need to prioritise. In a way, it takes my mind off the other things crowding for attention in there.

I wanted to blog about the election, and the outcome after. I didn't believe that any one party would get a majority, so I was expecting a coalition or hung parliament of some sort. I'm not too surprised by the outcome, though I wasn't sure that a Tory/Lib Dem coalition would be agreed upon. Let's see how it goes.

South Africa and the World Cup, and London and the Olympics 2012- there seem to be so many expectations that hosting these events will have solid benefits for the host countries. Why is there always so much discussion over 'what's in it' for the host? Surely we've seen many times over that hosting the Olympics is always a huge monetary commitment? Hosting these events is never, or should never, be about the money (because hosts almost always make a loss), but may be about the political statements they make, and about boosting the presence of the host in the eyes of the world.

I wanted to blog, briefly, about the Olympics 2012 mascots and the arguments people have over them. Personally, I think they're quite cute, and it's possibly fitting that with such an angular and 'modernist' logo (which I don't like but no point in getting upset over it) we should have some non-traditional mascots. In any case, which British animal would we use as a furry mascot? Hedgehog (hiberates, is slow and gets run over)? Puffin (cute, small, but a bird that can't really fly)? Lion (good idea but it's not British despite what people might say)?

And please don't get me started on religion, social-economical issues or racism. I've been reading too many history books, both 'historical novels' (ok, stories) and more factually based texts. I seem to get steamed up over the unfairness both past and present and disbelief that some people don't believe history can tell us anything. At the same time, the steadfastness and braveness of others almost bring me to angry tears.

Short comments like the ones above are easy to write down, but when I try to discuss them more deeply, more in context, I find too many thoughts rushing in, too many side-issues and social issues murkying the waters. I'm not a 'black-and-white' person. Everything is in shades of grey for me. Sometimes I envy people who see things more simply, or rather, in a less complicated way. At least, they seem sure of the route they should take and less confused than I am a lot of the time. But at other times, I'm glad that I see so many layers to things. I find that my view of the world is ultimately more optimistic because I believe in shades of good and 'bad', although I can sometimes see ulterior motives in seemingly 'good' people....

But sometimes I find myself unable to see the wood for the trees. Everything in my life, whether it is personal, or events in the outside world, seem to crowd in. I need people to discuss with, argue over, analyse with, to be able to persuade my thoughts into a more orderly state. I miss my friends from Cambridge at the moment, the ones who I could spend time with talking about nothing much in particular but had lots of laughs with. I miss the people in my department with whom I could discuss anything, serious or trivial, knowing that the points we put across were not necessarily our points of view, per se, and so being able to properly discuss things from all angles. I miss my cousins, also my friends, who are soooo knowledgeable and great in every way. I miss my friends from Manchester, who understand where my own points of view come from, even if they don't agree with them. I see them sometimes, and catch up, or we phone each other and chat, but it's harder to get past the veneers we present to the outside world when we meet up for only a few hours, or when there are less familiar friends or partners around.

Anyway, I hope I snap out of this state soon, because I'm starting to get worn out just chasing too many thoughts around in my head.