telephone etiquette

Why is it that people ring other people for a chat when they themselves are doing something? It’s a bit disconcerting, and frankly, very rude, to be tapping away on the keyboard or to be absorbed in a problem when someone else is trying to have a conversation with you. The exception is when you’re calling for advice or information on a problem or work-related issue, and you’re looking for the relevant files or website. Alternatively, If the one working is the person on the receiving end of the call, then that can be excused. But when it’s the person making the call, then it begs the question as to why they rang the other person in the first place. Is it to save having to tune into a radio station that is sufficiently entertaining but not mentally demanding? When I pick up a call, I generally try and give the person on the other end as much attention as possible. When I call someone for a chat, not for anything specific, then I damn well make sure I can concentrate on what they say to me. This is perhaps why I rarely call people for a chat.

I’m quite used to busy friends ringing me for a quick chat when they’re waiting for a train or for an appointment, and to have them abruptly say that they have to go. Sometimes I get annoyed when it’s obvious that someone hasn’t been taking in anything I’ve said in the last few minutes of conversation. The degree of annoyedness generally correlates with my degree of tiredness, compounded with the amount of work I myself have to do and may have put aside to answer the call. My pet hate is to be asked why I’ve suddenly gone quiet after it’s obvious that what should be a dialogue has become a very one-sided attempt to keep the conversation going on my side with little help from the other. Surely a conversation must come from both sides? Then I feel either as if I’m a pet parrot that’s expected to just keep talking and entertaining people, or as if I’m being humoured and the other person isn’t really interested at all.

Of course, I too am guilty of many of these points. I might ring people if I’m watching TV, and sometimes what’s on the screen creeps into the conversation and possibly takes over. And I will take calls and chat sometimes when I’m with other people (kids, if you're reading, don't get into these habits. It's very rude).

I think one of my fears is to impose on other people and be a burden, and I dislike conveying my thoughts and ideas to people who are just plain not interested. Often, if I do talk about something that I think is important and the thoughts flow so quickly they come out of my mouth in a rush, I get told not to get worked up about it and that it’s not an argument. Why assume it's an argument? Can't I just be hoping for a debate?

I guess this might be why so many people have blogs.