Christmas market

Last night I went for a browse around the German Christmas market set up on Parkers Piece. The smells of stollen and mulled wine were lovely, but the atmosphere was rather flat, probably because it was only 6pm on a Wednesday evening. It made me very homesick for Manchester, where there's been a German market every December that I remember, filled with shoppers and children and people milling around with mugs of hot German-style toddies. My friend always enthuses about the German Xmas market in Manchester, he says it's massive, and the highlight of his trip to Manchester. I don't know if it's that big, to me it always seems cosy, but the atmosphere is always great.

Maybe on a weekend, or later in the evening, the Cambridge market is busier and more holiday-like. I wonder if it's also to do with people tightening their belts this year and spending less. With the strong Euro and unusually weak GB pound, the gifts and crafts at the stalls were on the expensive side. Perhaps luckily for me, as there was a stall that was selling really exquisite music boxes, with tiny beautifully carved wooden figurines. But with the simplest music boxes starting from £13 and the ones that caught my eye being £43, I think my music box collection will stay this size for now.

Quiet Cambridge

MA congregation

This morning, an invitation to take my MA degree next March was part of my mail (in fact, my ONLY piece of mail). I've never really cared about taking my MA - it's not an award of merit, but conferred by right onto BA graduates from Cambridge. So I'm surprised to find that I'm actually quite excited.

Perhaps it's because I'll be leaving Cambridge soon and wish to go through some of the rituals Cambridge offers before I leave for good. It feels almost like a rite of passage, more so right now than taking my PhD degree, which seems more and more elusive as my work drags on. Having checked with several of my friends, it appears that most of the colleges invite their graduands to the same congregation - a good thing, as few of my 'friend-friends' from my year were from my own college.

In fact, few of my close friends have ever been from my own year, with the exception of a few with whom I spent my final year revising and working and thinking about plans for the future. After the initial excitment, I felt that the MA congregation could potentially be a very lonely day, especially since I don't intend to ask my parents to come. Two graduations, assuming they're in the UK for my PhD graduation, seems more than enough to ask. The person I do wish to see would be my brother, but he rarely comes to England now, and he definitely wouldn't be able to in March, halfway through the school-year.

My BA graduation fell on a different day from many of my friends, and so I missed seeing them looking like smartly dressed and coiffured bats the first time round. It'll be fun I think, but I think I'll also feel sad. As I said, it feels like the end of a stage in my life.

Thinking about what's in my wardrobe though, I suspect I'll be wearing exactly the same shirt and black trousers as I did for my BA graduation. Perhaps this time round I'll have my own shoes instead of wearing my mum's.

Slumdog Millionaire

Over the weekend I went to watch the new film 'Slumdog Millionaire'. I hadn't seen the trailer beforehand, nor read the synopsis - I'd just heard that it was a 'feel-good' film.

It's one of the best films I've seen this year, although I'm not sure how good it made me feel. The storyline - a uneducated young man who came from the slums of Mumbai wins 20 million rupees on the gameshow 'Who wants to be a Millionaire?'. The explanation to how he knows the answers leads back to events that have happened in his life.

What this basic, rather dry, description doesn't prepare us for is the wealth of emotion both depicted in the film and drawn out of us, the audience. Whenever we read the economic news, India is always presented as the up-and-coming economic power, with a rapidly growing population and emerging competitor to the West. What we forget is how poor much of that population is. There's a major gap between the poor and the rich in India, as there is in many countries, but not so much in the UK. Life in the slums is still perhaps not as bad as for the orphans - who rummage amongst rubbish tips to find food, or are taken into begging syndicates, or prostitution. Charles Dickens' 'Oliver Twist' seems a ridiculous parody. The cinema was packed, but there was hardly a sound for much of the film.

Where there was sound, it was mostly laughter. Because what makes this film excellent is that it tugs at your heartstrings, but it's not asking for sympathy, or pity. This is how life is for many people in India, how they live. What is most heart-warming, and perhaps amazing to us, is how the children enjoy life to the full no matter how bad things seem to be. In this way, it is truly a 'celebration of life'. In the end, it all ends happily (although up to the last few minutes, after years of watching Hong Kong gangster films, I had my heart in my mouth waiting for a final gunshot) - but it is a film set in the country of Bollywood after all. How could it not be a happy ending?

If it hadn't been a happy ending, it could have been a very depressing film. As it was, it was a reminder not to take our lives and the things in it for granted - things like money, a roof over our heads, but also love, family, friends. And never to give up for the things that are important.

If that sounds a bit too heavy for you, then there's also the beautiful Frieda Pinto, who plays the grown-up Latika. And the grown-up Jamal, played by Dev Patel, is also quite good-looking, if you like his style. If that still doesn't persuade you, watch it to see what India is really like, for people of all social strata.

alien & predator

Certain members of our lab investigate the effects of virus infection on plant 'attractiveness' to insects that act as virus vectors, spreading disease from plant to plant. This means that we can't use insecticides or fungicides to keep down the numbers of other insects that like to nibble and make holey patterns in the leaves. Instead, we use biological control, in the form of tiny predatory mites that feed on the babies of the greedy herbivores.

The mites are tiny and not visible to the naked eye (at least, not to mine). But when I was working on the confocal microscope it was very obvious that the company from which we order our biological control agent wasn't just sending us some sawdust and saying it contained mites. As I was scanning along the epidermal cell layer, I suddenly came across a six legged creature with armour plating down its back, sitting under my lens. I was quite taken aback.

I found a few more on my tissue samples. Normally I rinse the tissue well before imaging, but this time I must not have cleaned the leaves as thoroughly as usual. I quite like the images, they look rather cool. I'm glad it's not a life-size picture though, they remind me of cockroaches.....

Hypothetical xmas wish list (part I)

One for my christmas wish list....


....but that suggests that I have started writing..... (tense - past imperfect)

Kamikaze chestnuts

There's something very comforting about roasted chestnuts in the middle of the winter. Yesterday my friend decided to roast chestnuts in his oven, as we lacked the availability of an open fire to cluster round. As we waited, the music from the Korean TV show we were watching was punctated by thumps coming from the oven, indicating that the chestnuts were cooking nicely.

Perhaps a bit too nicely as it turned out. After a particularly loud 'whump' we opened the oven door and cautiously took the lid off the baking tray. One chestnut had decided to sacrifice itself for its comrades by exploding in an attempt to break out of the oven. As we took the tray out, another chestnut exploded between my friend's feet (and resulting, I'm ashamed to say, in a shriek from me). Evidently this was another noble attempt to save the rest by attacking us. Unfortunately for them, it had the opposite effect, as we decided to quickly stab all the remaining chestnuts to release the air inside before they all turned into little suicide bombers. There was one last stand by a chestnut I stabbed, as it retaliated with a stream of hot juice across my arm and the chair behind.

Unexpected excitment from an evening snack.

For those who wish to roast their own chestnuts in a more peaceful manner, this is what you should do

1. Cut a cross into the skin of the chestnut, to act as a steam vent whilst cooking. This will prevent the kamikaze attacks characteristic of the sort I described above.
2. Put the chestnuts in a metal roasting tray, and place into a preferably preheated oven at about 225 degrees centrigrade.

3. After about 20-25 minutes they should be cooked.

4. Peel whilst warm. You could turn the oven off and keep the chestnuts warm in it whilst you peel a few at a time.

overworked

My blog may become a shrine, or at the very least, an advertising space for PhD comics, but they're just so accurate...
The rate at which things disappear FROM my to-do list - 3 lines/week

The rate at which things appear ON my to-do list - 12 lines/week (or if you take the rate of interest over the time period during which I have a meeting with my supervisor - 2 lines/5 minutes)

That latter is limited only by the speed at which I can write down and make semi-sense out of his comments.

US presidential elections- the final round

After all the awaiting and speculating, we will know who the next president of the United States will be in less than 48 hours. Although Barack Obama appears to have a clear lead in all the US national opinion polls at the moment, none of the spectating news reporters and politicians are willing to say for sure who will win in the end. There has been a lot of ups and downs during the course of the primaries and in the run up to these final elections, and they're too aware that it could still change.

I would say the current 'down' in the world economy has really helped Obama. The Republican party doesn't have a good track record with keeping the economy afloat - just look at what happened to the national budget under George Bush. Americans, like most of the developed world, will be more concerned with their economy and will probably be looking for a leader who can bring them through the current economical crisis. Previously, Obama's relative lack of experience was a sticking factor - but the extent of the current Wall Street crash is no more familiar to John McCain, losing him this card from his hand. Disillusioned, Americans may be more inclined to welcome the change that the Democrats are promising.

I'll be checking early on Wednesday morning to see who wins the seat in the White House (as if I could avoid finding out when I walk into my office) but other than that, I've lost interest. I'm hoping the Democrats will win, but more from the fact that I've been inclined towards the Democratic party all along, and also because I have a strong contempt for Sarah Palin. Whatever possessed John McCain to choose Palin as a running partner? I'm sure he lost a lot of votes that way - if I were eligible to vote, this strange choice of Vice-President would convince me not to vote Republican.

Unfortunately, that does not mean that I support Obama. Not that I am against him. But for all his charisma and big dreams and big promises, I've heard very little from him that truly convinces me he has the ability to carry them through. All politicians promise bigger and better things, but few deliver. Maybe I'm being too skeptical, and maybe Obama will have the chance to prove me wrong. I hope so.

But to end with a little comment on the current economic crisis - for the carrot of four years in the White House, nearly a whole year has been spent on campaigning and travelling around the USA - if you add up the phenomenal amount of money spent by both parties thus far, doesn't it sound a bit too much? I would say ridiculous, if it wasn't for the immense power the President of the United States, either in reality or in our minds. And what about the carbon cost?

Oh wait, we're talking about the USA here. They don't contribute to climate change really. Apparently.

Autumnal illness

Just a quick moan - yesterday I woke up feeling ill and mildly feverish, but got better as the day went on. Today, I woke up feeling refreshed, but my body temperature seems to be creeping up sneakily above normal and I feel worse as the day goes on.
I'm demonstrating for a 1st year undergraduate practical tomorrow, so I may catch yet something else to make me feel more ill. Or on the bright side, maybe I've already caught it all and can spread pathogens around them instead - in which case, my job on monday (yet more teaching) will be easier as everyone will be too ill to turn up.

I think it's karma for the many years of never being ill without really appreciating my good health.

retraction

Remember I said in my last post that I thought my friends were being optimistic? I take it all back.
I think I'll just hide in my lab and avoid putting my foot into things.

T_T vs ^_^

Originally, this entry was going to be an out-pouring of annoyance, as everything has been going wrong work-wise this week. But when I logged into the homepage of my blog I noticed that several of my friends have been very prolific and updated their blogs very frequently this week. Being a nosy person by nature, I spent a little while catching up with their news via the medium of internet blogging. Having done so, I found that my mood had lifted considerably as they all seem optimistic and up-beat. It feels as if a few worries and minor burdens have been lifted off my mind.

My friend once told me that I can be rather presumptous, as I worry a lot when making decisions as to how they might affect other people, yet in reality, what I say or do is not that important. Similarly, I worry too much about friends and don't give them enough credit - they're perfectly capable of looking after themselves! I agree, yet it's something embedded into my nature. Perhaps because in the past I've made a lot of decisions and carried out actions without considering properly the feelings of the people I love, and so now I'm over-cautious. But reading my friends' entries now, I feel much re-assured.

But, back to my original moan - my department is a building site. You can't step out of the lab without having to dodge people hoisting big -80 degree C freezers up (and back down) the stairs, builders in yellow jackets and hard hats, people with clipboards wandering around. The lab water supplies and fume hood ventilators work intermittantly. To get to our growth rooms by the botanic gardens we have to go right round another building site, and the growth rooms themselves keep malfunctioning. My plants are being heated to rainforest conditions or being plunged into darkness for days on end, and retaliating by dying as soon as I let even a whiff of virus near them. The portable equipment keeps going walkies and I have to track them down by wandering lab-to-lab and asking for news. On the rare occasions when nothing's broken down and everything I need is around, I still can't do my own work because those are inevitably the days when I have to supervise the undergraduates working in my lab and I daren't leave them on their own for long.

How am I supposed to finish my PhD?!! Let alone dedicate time to finding a new job. I spend my rare free evenings at the gym when I have the last dregs of energy, and collapsed face down on my bedroom floor when I don't.

And my last cheque came last month. But so did my college bill.

I accept food parcels in lieu of sympathy.

michaelmas term

It's the Saturday before Full term, and so the roads in town are grid-locked. On most street corners there are groups of lost-looking students and family members either admiring the architecture or examining an upside-down city map. Unfortunately they tend to stop suddenly, so that people behind them slam into them, or decide to set off immediately without checking for cars or cyclists. And of course there are the new cyclists, rather lacking sense of direction and sense of balance, and also the sense of their brakes.

I nearly got run over by a cyclist yesterday. Well, wobbled over. It was a little like an old-fashioned comedy clip, Laurel and Hardy style - I had already stopped to let the cyclist past, and she was only going at about 3 mph. But for some reason she wobbled straight for me, and only by twisting round at the last moment did I avoid having tyre marks up the front of my coat.
Having avoided that, I then proceeded to be crushed in Sainsbury's, dodging backpacks and baskets. These days, I feel my blood pressure rising the moment I step across the threshold of Sainsbury's.

Start of a new academic year. Looks like it's time to stock up on the aspirin.

lost in translation

I've been browsing the internet looking for inspiration for birthday cakes. One of the websites I quite like is leisure-cat.com, which has a lot of 'Hong-Kong style' recipes. As such though, everything is in Chinese, and although I can read Chinese, it takes me a long time to do so - I find English much easier. I also find it difficult to work out what certain ingredients are, as the Chinese terms are unfamiliar. I decided to let Google translate some of the pages into English for me, with comical results.

The chinese for gelatine (魚膠片) was literally translated into 'Fish film', and that for white chocolate (白古力) was 'Gu Li Bai' (the recipe has shortened the term for chocolate, using a widely accepted less formal term, but the Google dictionary was therefore unable to find a translation, giving the phonetics of the phrase instead).

As for the actual instructions - instead of 'beat the egg yolks with an eggbeater. Then add the milk and beat well', Google got 'eggbeater playing with egg yolk, adding fresh milk again'.
Similarly, 'beat the cream until peaks form' (將淡忌廉打至8成企身 - which is a rather cryptic way of putting it), become the even more cryptic 'Will be light cream into a fight to 8 who are standing', whilst 'pour the mousse into the mould on top of the cake already placed inside and solidify in the fridge' is now 'Qing has been placed into the mold piece of cake into the refrigerator to snow solidification'.

But I particularly liked the last phrase on the page - '為食貓有野講', a very colloquial phrase that would probably only make sense to Hong Kong Chinese. To Google, it reads as 'There are wild cats for food talk'.

UFV (Unclassified flying virus)

The European Space Authority (ESA) has a new programme - 'Fly your thesis'. University students, mainly graduates, are invited to design experiments to be carried out on a Zero-G (ie. microgravity) aircraft.

I'm currently trying to think of something I can submit that would be a) interesting and b) meaningful - not necessarily the same thing. Whilst it would be rather cool to have green glowing plants floating around like little aliens, at a time when politicians and policy-makers are muttering about reducing carbon footprints, low carbon emissions and fuel-conservation, I suspect sending weird virally-infected plants into free-fall for the hell of it would be rather missing the point. And no, the viruses are not from outer space and therefore putting them a simulation of that environment would not be meaningful.

But in case anyone does have an idea that would actually be relevant for the project, here's the link ^_^.

more confocal images

I'm using a 'new' GFP construct! It's not newly made, but it's one I haven't used for microscope work before.

birthday wish-list extra

8) an UV hand-held lamp that actually emits UV light

Birthday wish-list

1) A multi-channel pipette

2) A vibratome

3) Three more months of the confocal working and not breaking down

4) An automatic plant potting machine

5) An automatic tissue sample homogeniser (for 0.1g samples)

6) Someone who's solely here to help me get through my work (For this one item I will forego items 1, 4 and 5)

7) A life. Preferably mine own.

They're after your blood

It's true. They are. They're quite up-front about it as well, and ask for your blood without any qualms.

But it's alright, because 'they' are actually the National Blood Service, the blood-bank from which the NHS and private hospitals in the UK are supplied. I've never thought about it, but there must be fewer volunteers to donate blood at this time of year, when so many people are on holiday or occupied with looking after the kids whilst school is out. In addition, people who go on vacation in places where there's a risk of malaria, sleeping sickness, or other blood-borne diseases, are automatically excluded from the pool (or blood-bath?) of potential donors for a period of time. If you've visited the US of A or Canada, you're asked not to give blood until at least a month after you've returned to this side of the Atlantic. It's good to know how careful they are about blood collection, but that means they're a bit short right now.

That they're a bit desperate is evident as I've had two letters, one e-mail and a sms message asking me to book an appointment (I'm a regular, so they have my details on database). The only reason I hadn't was because I couldn't get through on the hotline! I have now, so I have an appointment with a needle, a pressure cuff, and an empty bag next week (shiver).

One of my friend's sisters had an operation, a kidney transplant, last month, and she needed blood transfusions for that. I wonder if what I give will be enough to 'cover' that? Probably not.

It's not so bad giving blood really, though I still get a bit nervous about it. But, being a student, the free biscuits and drinks you get after (not to mention a stunning, highly fashionable, sticker to decorate your t-shirt and engineer sympathy) are enough of a lure. Like my friend says, I'm a cheap date ;P But if that's not enough of a lure, surely the fact that you're helping to save lives is?

Facebook whispers

Haha one of my friends has just experienced the scary gossip-monger effect that is generated via Facebook. Having decided to whittle down the personal details on his Facebook profile, he removed his declaration of singledom - and promptly activated a chain of messages from inquisitive friends speculating on who the lucky girl was. Oddly, as he pointed out, his removal of his political alignment and religious views didn't quite generate the same effect.

I fell prey to the same 'Facebook whispers' (my coining) phenomenum at the beginning of last year when, three months after I joined Facebook, I decided that actually, I didn't want everyone to be party to so much personal information. Being a relative late-comer to the world of Facebook, I hadn't realised how much store people put into the changes of status made to your profile. Hours after removing the information that I was 'in a relationship', I received several messages and phone calls from friends commiserating on my broken heart. As my heart wasn't, in fact, broken (at least, not yet) I was a bit bemused.
Funnily, a few months after this event, a high-school friend of mine left a message on my Facebook wall, jokingly asking when I was going to get married. Despite deleting the message as soon as I saw it, I was obviously too slow to stop the gossip-chain, as someone else wrote 'what, you're engaged?!!' on my wall. That took a few days to resolve. ('The Wall', for the uninitiated, being the electronic equivalent of a notice-board where other people can read the messages left on it).

Anyway, the moral of the story is, at least for me anyway, to use Facebook with care. Some of my friends don't use Facebook, for various reasons, many concerning privacy and data protection issues. Fair enough. I still use it, but I minimise what details I put on my profile and only fill in forms with basic information which is easy to obtain from other sources anyway.
The good thing is, any gossip dies down quite soon, because someone else in your network of friends inevitably falls foul of the gossip-mongers and Facebook stalkers fairly quickly. It's the online equivalent of the trashy tabloids.

China 5.12 earthquake strips (by Coco Wang)

My friend forwarded me a link to some comics strips depicting some of the human stories from the days directly after the 5.12 earthquake in Sichuan, China. The comic strips are simply drawn, but very touching, and very moving. The stories tell of the bravery and determination of the rescuers and people who sacrificed themselves to protect others. Although reports of the devastation and massive rescue efforts, these individual struggles really went home to my heart.

The panda story made me laugh though, especially after the tears I'd already shed.

The aftershocks of the major earthquake in May are still vibrating through Sichuan. The aftershocks of all the deaths and damage caused will carry on vibrating through millions of people's lives through this generation and the next. Let us not forget not only the losses, but also the bravery and love of the Chinese people.

I've just got back from a weekend away - without doing any of the work I took with me of course. I feel better for the break, though that might have something to do with the ridiculous amounts of sleep I've had. How am I going to get back to having 'only' eight hours of sleep a night? But I'm looking at the piles of work I have to do now, some of which is due in tomorrow, and I may slip back into sleep-deficit again. Ah well

Anyway, can anyone guess where I've been?

olympic handshaking

Today's the opening day of the Beijing Olympics 2008, in case you've missed that part of the news. Actually, although it's been impossible to miss the fact that the Olympics are being held in China this year, given all the anti-China protests and debates over the last few months, you may have lost excitment for the games themselves.

All the debate about whether China is 'fit' to host the Olympics and activists decrying that having the games in Beijing is against the spirit of the Olympics.... given that the original Olympics were only open to free men who spoke Greek (so no peasants please) and women were barred from even attending, I guess that's a good thing. And don't forget the Berlin Olympics in 1936, were the Olympics revived to forward the 'Aryan' ideal only?

Ok, so perhaps that is an unfair point - but if the spirit of the Olympics is to bring athletes together and promote global unity and fair, friendly, competition, then the violence of some of these protests is the real issue that has spoilt the Beijing Olympics, if anyone feels that they have been defiled. There are many problems, including human rights issues, that need to be addressed by the Chinese government, and pressure from the global community is what is needed. However, before condemning others, perhaps we should examine our own actions and motives first?

Personally, I think that it's too soon for China to host the Olympics - maybe in 8 or even 4 years time I would have felt more comfortable with it. I worry that in both social reform and economic terms they may do China more harm than good. However, I'm pleased to see how well the Chinese government has handled the earthquake disasters this year and even the free-Tibet protests that have made so many headlines. If anyone condemns me for that view, consider how far China has come in the last 20 years, and then attack me. I stand by my opinion.

Today should be a hopeful day though, both for China but also for all the competing athletes! Let's not forget the hard work and training that has gone into the games and instead celebrate that. How better than with an Olympic handshake - an commitment 'to hold ALL our governments to a higher standard of peace, justice and respect for human dignity', one you can also join in with. I'm still proud to call myself Chinese.

Enjoy watching the games! I hope they broadcast the badminton....

Danger alert

Today's new phd comic is very fitting. John has been let loose in our lab. We did clear his desk for him first, to reduce the danger potential [think radioactive plants (though under a lead-lined perspex box), syringe needles and razor blades]. We have a summer student and a visiting PhD student, and John likes to use the opportunity to put a lab coat on and show them what to do. We would feel a lot safer if John wouldn't keep explaining how to make liquid nitrogen and dry ice bombs, and wave his hands around whilst holding bottles of toxic chemicals.

We've printed the comic strip out and stuck it to his door. I think he may get the hint.

mystery sender

Ah ha! I've finally worked out who's been sending me presents at my Manchester address. Your latest gift betrayed you - only two people know what my favourite perfume is. Thank you ^_^ I remember telling you that they don't sell it anymore, where on earth did you get hold of it? And thank you for the plums. Now, were you also the mystery sender of those flowers back in March?

I know if I were to thank you directly you would just deny it, so I won't. But still, thank you.
But why can't you send them to my Cambridge address instead?!! ;P

....eeee I'm so ungrateful I know :P I'm very happy really, absolutely, completely. Can you send me those hazelnut mint love letter wafers next time? Or Gundam.....

Perils of procrastination

Well, I must be procrastinating if I'm writing a blog entry at this time of day. Actually, I'm waiting for a DNA gel to run so I have a spare ten minutes, in which I spotted this article on how procrastination can 'ruin your life' .
As a student, both during my undergraduate and my PhD I've felt like I could write a book on procrastination myself, but I've always procrastinated over writing it! So I know the feeling....

One thing though - if you manage to come across the article randomly, then you must be procrastinating. Otherwise you would be too busy to browse the internet. But then, that means the article must have reached its target audience. Mission accomplished.

Better get back to work now!

Store Wars

Much as I disagree with some of the arguments made by organic food advocates I have to say this is a brilliant and very funny advert. Actually, they're right about a lot of the issues with mass production of our 'fresh' produce, but that's not to say organic veg are THE good guys. (And how, may I ask, do you get an INorganic potato?) But that is another discussion altogether.

Welcome to Store Wars!

what physicists do in their spare time

The making of silly videos and bad rap songs (see EpMotion blog entry, 20th June 2008) isn't restricted to life scientists and engineers only. The physicists are in on it too! What better way to explain how a particle accelerator works to lay people than via the medium of Lego?

(Check out the Nature blog- particle physics in Lego and rap, July 29, 2008)

more thoughts on unhappiness

By the way, there are some interesting articles from the Hudson Institute on the treatment of unhappiness and some thoughts on the use of chemical medicines to do so. One article debates the difference between unhappiness and clinical depression.

My own extra thought - contrary to what the words suggest, happiness is not the direct opposite of UNhappiness. You can be not unhappy without actively feeling happy. Or at least, it depends on your definition of 'happy'. (By the by, out of curiosity I googled 'definition of happiness', and a wide range of sites came back. Some are worth browsing through.) You can also not feel either.

To be able to comprehend happiness, you probably have to have endured or observed UNhappiness.

unawareness of unhappiness

Sometimes we can be happy without being aware that we are. But we can also be UNhappy without actual consciousness of the fact. Many of us don't notice when other people are unhappy, or will ourselves to ignore the signs, perhaps for fear that it is a contagious state. In a similar way, sometimes we ignore our own unhappiness in case acknowledgement of the emotion makes it more tangible and somehow more real. Where there is no apparent or only a seemingly trivial reason for unhappiness it seems almost wrong to admit to it, even to ourselves. It is as if we consider the inability to reach happiness to be a failure. So entrained are we to strive for happiness, as if it were a material object that can be bought or caged, rather than an ephermal state to appreciate and treasure.

Unawareness of UNhappiness can be a mixed blessing, as can indeed, unawareness of happiness. Dwelling on unhappy thoughts may lead us very close to overindulgence in self-pity. No-one likes a martyr. But sometimes you can be unhappy without knowing why, and this could be due to something in your lifestyle that doesn't chime quite right. Happy feelings are communicated to our brain via neurotransmitters - unhappiness is thought to be likewise. So it is all chemical? At the very least, an imbalance in our diet, or not enough rest or too little exercise can cause us to feel discontented and on edge. It might be difficult to pinpoint the cause of our unhappiness, but taking stock of how you spend your days, taking more time for yourself and understanding your body better may help.

Too often we rush around and fail to take stock. If we're too busy, we ignore the lack of contentedness, or perhaps, pay a psychiatrist to worry about it for us. We could go over our childhood to death or stuff ourselves with antidepressants, but maybe what is needed is a change of diet or daily regime. Maybe we could learn to trust our instincts more and rely less on other people to work out what we should do?

Sense about Science

As a follow-up to my lament on the mis-presentation of science by the media and misconceptions in the public, someone recently sent me a link to Sense about Science. It's a charitable trust involved in promoting science to the public, with emphasis on good evidence and aiming to help clear up inaccuracies in scientific debate. Do go and have a look!

BK day 2008

This year, BK day was celebrated on the 20th July, a Sunday, in Cambridge with punting on the Cam, braving the hordes of summer students and tourists, much more dangerous than any bear,

before the attempt to get lost.

And what is BK day? For those of you who are confused, it is not an old English festival day, nor is it some arcane Cambridge tradition that we've dredged up from the depths of the UL archives. Nor is it a celebration of the Wimpy burger, Wimpy being the old name for Burger King in this part of the world, back when Snickers was called Marathon.

Three summers ago, before I became the jaded and gloomy PhD student that I am now, I spent two months out in the Siberian taiga collecting data for a biodiversity survey to promote preservation of the taiga before it got chopped up to make paper for my PhD. With me were 6 other students from Cambridge, three wildlife enthusiasts from the UK, and experts and students from Tomsk University in Siberia.

Before anyone asks, it was very hot. +30 degrees Celsius, and it was a cooler summer than usual. We were wrapped up to reduce the amount of blood loss to the hordes of mosquitos and midges, making it even hotter.

We wanted to collect data mainly from old, relatively untouched, stands of trees, and set off each day from camp on foot to find such stands. Kevin, one of the wildlife enthusiasts, told us that he had passed an old stand of conifer forest and drew us a map, directing us to turn off from a village close by and past certain 'landmarks'. Unfortunately, what we hadn't realised was that the 'streams' marked on the map were actually ephemeral features, only there previously due to a thunderstorm a few days previously. As it had been sunny for three days, there was no sign that they ever existed. We were also told to look for 'trees with blue tape'. They were EVERYWHERE! It turned out that the blue tape was used by taiga rangers to mark out territories, and was not, as we had naively assumed, put up especially by Kevin to act as a marker for us. The other landmarks were equally elusive or misleading.

In the end, we spent a very hot three hours looking for the stand, and after giving it up as a bad job, several unfulfilling hours working in stands that were substandard (for our purposes) as it was too late to trek to a different part of the forest. The day only got worse. We decided to have another quick search for the old stand on our way back to camp as we passed through the village. After 40 minutes of more walking we retreated hastily as we found ourselves on the trail of a mother and baby bear who had left VERY fresh tracks on the ground. This was an encounter we would rather not make. Then, due to tiredness and shaken nerves, someone had an accident with a camping knife. By this point we were thoroughly fed up, sunbeaten from tramping along unshaded tracks for several hours, and very shaken by our proximity to animals whose paw prints were many times the size of our hands.

So that is how 'Bloody Kevin day' (or BK day for short) came into being. Each year in late July we try and meet up somewhere and, using a map drawn by our esteemed student leader with directions such as 'get the first bus at the first bus stop where people are waiting' and 'carry on walking until you reach a postbox', we try to get ourselves lost. And thus the spirit of BK day lives on.


This year was in Cambridge, which was fun. But in terms of following our map we didn't do too well. It was a bit hard to get lost and go randomly when we knew exactly where we were. Hannah, as usual, still managed to lose us before she even got to the meeting point, and so we had yet another BK day without her. Maybe next year.

Press perspective

A couple of months ago, there was a seminar I wanted to attend on the responsibility that scientists have to represent their science correctly to the public. Unfortunately I had another course I had to attend at the same time, and wasn't able to go.

A large proportion of the scientific research in the biological and biomedical sciences in the UK is funded by public money. Therefore it's natural that the public should be made aware of what their money is being used for. In recent years there has been an increasing amount of debate over whether research is being made transparent enough to the public, and increased pressure to make scientists more accountable for the way they use their funding money and when presenting the results that they find. Fair enough up to a point.

But why is there not more pressure on the press to stop them from wilfully misrepresenting the science? If scientists misled people in the same way about their work they would be heavily penalised by their peers and by the press themselves. But journalists are 'allowed' to write scaremongering stories with very little responsibility for any consequences. You might argue that it's up to the scientists to respond to such stories and educate the public, but once an idea has been planted in people's minds, it takes much much more to persuade them that it is incorrect. Journalists are also prone to paraphrasing and are capable of twisting quotes and scientific 'facts' to fit their whims. 'Chlorine in tap water doubles chances of having deformed children' sounds so much better than 'Study carried out in Taiwan suggests a tentative correlation between chlorine in treated water supplies and defects in newly born babies, but doesn't take into account other socio-economic factors in the areas sampled' (story from June 2008)

Dramatic headlines always sell more papers, and people carry on buying more newspapers to keep up with any updates. If the newspaper later has to qualify the original statement, the damage is still done, and the seeds of worry and doubt have been sown. They flourish so much better than the seeds of confidence and common sense. Sometimes though, these stories can have worrying longer-term effects. Stories on what are 'cancer-causing' and 'cancer-defying' agents are a case in point. Up to a few years, vitamin C was THE wonder vitamin, it helped cure colds, eczema, headaches, cancer, etc etc. You could never have too much of it, so people took tablets with far higher amounts of vitamin C than their bodies could ever absorb. Then, it transpired there was a link between overly high levels of vitamin C in the diet and development of cancer. Cue panic.

The best diet is a well-balanced diet. All the press about 'wonder vitamins' only serves to put lots of money into companies that cash into the demand for extract of ginkgo, extract of aloe vera. Not to say that these don't have health benefits - but they won't help if you take them after smoking half a pack of cigarettes and neglect having any fresh veg in your diet.

It's important that we keep up-to-date, and to be aware of any research on risks to our health. But our information should come with an awareness of perspective, and what it means in terms of how we live our everyday lives.

One of my friends pointed out that the science editors for magazines and newspapers are mostly only trained in one discipline and one area of that discipline at that. Although they may be trained as an ecologist or zoologist, they commission and edit articles on physics, genetics, nutritition, the lot. This may be a partial reason (or excuse) for some of the rubbish that newspapers churn out but it needs to be remedied. The press have a lot of power, but with little of the sense of responsibility that should go with it.

Hurdle. Jump. Hurdle. Jump. Splat.

Let me see.
Experiments. PhD third year presentation. Grow up plants for more experiments. Keep virus stocks going. Form for fourth year plan comes in. Strike one.
Kill off plants from the last experiment. Dissertation plan form comes in. Strike two.
Data compilation. Find out you just killed off plants before collection of all the desired data. Groan. Strike three.
Crash, bang, wallop.

I thought I'd finally sorted out all the paperwork and jumped all the hurdles that the Graduate Studies Board wanted from me before the last BIG hurdles of thesis and viva. Finally I can concentrate on actual experimental work. As usual, wishful thinking. Only a few weeks after I gave my third year presentation, I've now got a form entitled 'Graduate Student Fourth Year Plan', with all the questions we don't want to be asked.

1. Have you finished your data collection? (I wish)
2. If not, when will you have finished collecting data? (sometime this decade I hope)
3. Please provide a list of abbreviated chapter headings for chapters already completed and the date when these were handed to your Supervisor. (BLANK)
4. Please give an estimate of when you will give a complete draft to your supervisor. (more blanks)

signed (by Student)
signed (by Supervisor) (indicating that they think this is realistic) (sigh)

I spend more time than I can afford over these things. And guilt over the number of trees that have died unnecessarily so that I can do this PhD and the blasted paperwork that goes with it. Plus it distracts me from my work.
All this paperwork to make sure that we are on track to finish our PhDs. But I need to do the experimental work to have something to put in my thesis!!

In theory, I know it's meant to be 'helpful' and not a bad idea really. In reality, a reply consisting of running jumps, River Cam and AARGH comes to mind.

Come, let us kiss and part

Shake hands for ever, cancel all our vows,
And when we meet at any time again
Be it not seen in either of our brows
That we one jot of former love retain.

- Michael Drayton

the biofuel debate

A report accessing the effect of current biofuel production on world food shortages has just been leaked from the World Bank. It estimates that biofuels have contributed to the increase in global food prices by up to 75 %.

This is a pivotal point in the future of biofuel policy. It's evident that we need to find alternative energy sources to fossil fuels, but the current policies for biofuel production are not substainable. It's all very well encouraging and even legislating the inclusion of biofuels as an energy source, but this shouldn't come at the cost of reducing world food supplies, which are already insufficient for those in developing countries.

So what is wrong with encouraging biofuel production as it stands? Where should I start?

Instead of using good quality crops for food, we are burning them for fuel. And these crops are frequently grown in countries that have intense poverty and food shortages already, whilst their governments pocket the money they get. The rainforests in Brazil have been cut back again and again to use the fertile land for soy production - the most idiotic thing being that although the land is fertile and would be very good for many food crops, it doesn't support soybean. So they have to pump fertilisers and chemicals into the soil, affecting the ecosystem, whilst the local farmers who would have kept livestock and crops on the fringes of the forest lose their livelihood. Of course, this problem goes much further back than the current debate over biofuels, but it can only get worse if we insist on using soy for energy.

The idea of using biofuels as a more environmentally and substainable energy source is completely contradicted by the current methods of production. The Kenyan government has recently approved a biofuel project that would involve using a large chunk of the Tana river delta as a sugar cane plantation. This is in a continent where drought and shortage of fertile land is a problem - can you imagine the impact of damaging the river delta ecosystem, both on the people who rely on the delta for food and livelihood, and on the many species of birds and animals that live there?

Nor is Kenya the only African country that has joined in, without properly considering the long-term problems. The Guardian report on the sugar cane plantation project also says this:

The merits of growing biofuels are the source of increasingly acrimonious debate in east Africa, where vast tracts of open land in Kenya, Uganda, Ethiopia and Tanzania are attracting the attention of local and international agriculture firms hoping to cash in on the demand from the US and the European Union for clean energy sources such as ethanol.

So the local governments want the money, as do the agricultural firms. But what happens to the people and ecosystems that are already there?

If the policy-makers don't stand back now and take a good look at what is really happening, then although biofuels were originally supposed to be a relatively eco-friendly solution to our fuel problems, in the long run we are just escalating the problem of world poverty, food shortage and climate change. Biofuels are currently produced for the profit of private companies. Perhaps we need international organisations like the World Bank to become more involved and keep an eye on the long-term effects of these biofuel projects.

silver linings

These last few weeks have been rather rough. Apart from everything else, I've been disappointed and saddened by some of my friends.

But despite that, or maybe because of it, I've come to realise that sometimes old cliches are true, and that there often really is a silver lining if you look hard enough. I've found out how many faithful friends I also have, those who have rallied to my defence and listened patiently to my long-winded rants. Somehow, when I see someone become angrier and more defensive than I am myself on my behalf, I feel better for their concern. A pushover I may be, but I am a much-loved pushover. ^_^

It's true that it is only in the face of adversity that you learn who your true friends are. Sometimes they are close confidantes, but you can also be surprised at how many friends you have amongst those you thought were 'only' acquaintances and colleagues.

When strangers rally to the aid of those affected by natural disasters, or work together to rebuild lives, of course we wish that the clouds were not there in the first place, but the silver lining shines out clear and true. How lucky it was that hope was left in Pandora's box. If we weather the storm, maybe there will be clear skies waiting for us on the other side. In the meantime, at least we know we have friends and kind-hearted souls to keep us company.

just a ramble

Currently one of my favourite songs is 'When you believe', the most common version of which is sung by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston. Both women have amazing voices and this song is powerful enough to show off their abilities.

People ask me what language I dream in. I don't really know, I don't remember words in my dreams, only emotions. My dreams may have dialogue, but the meaning to the words appear, without my registering what format the words first came in. Maybe there's no need for speech when everything is occuring in your brain.

But when I try to explain emotions or express feelings out loud, I tend to revert to chinese. I can get frustrated trying to find the right words and phrases in English, whilst in cantonese the words for the exact feeling may just be sitting there. However, when it comes to scientific ideas and trying to analyse issues, I can struggle to find the correct chinese words and jump to English. It can be difficult for people to keep up with my thoughts when I switch back and forth between languages.

In the same way, when I wish to hear a song that can describe how I'm feeling in words, I often listen to chinese songs. I can usually find a song where the lyrics appear to be written specifically for the emotional situation I'm in. But the songs that move me most are usually sung in english. The emotions some english songs stir in me are more abstract, less due to a specific event or occurance, just a reaction to the emotions I hear in the voices.

I've found that I tend towards the visual arts. I like to sketch and paint, and to wander around galleries looking at paintings and itching to touch sculptures. I have very little musical ability and don't really know how to appreciate music, other than by instinct. When I listen to music, music without words, then I imagine dancers moving to the music, the story and emotions behind a dance choreographed for that music. Or I might imagine a seascape or verdant countryside, if that's the image the music conjures up in me. Or the notes as colours curling and undulating (now that's an onomatopoeic word!). How amazing it would be to be able to paint a song. But would that pin down the emotion and trap the feelings into a fixed form? Maybe it's best to let each person imagine the shape of a tune for themselves.

epMotion

A colleague of mine forwarded me a link to an advert from the company Eppendorf (they make lab equipment for biological work). It feels a bit unreal watching an advert of this kind for a lab supplier company, but it 's fun to watch all the same. But very very cringe-worthy.

http://www.eppendorf.com/int/hawkpopup.php?contentid=13

What really made me laugh was the fact that you can actually download the music for the advert as a ringtone, and there are wallpaper images. The lyrics have also been typed out further down the webpage, presumably so you can sing along with them. Hmm it gives a good indication of what people think a research scientist is like - very very sad.

Though that doesn't mean it's not true. Given that this advert was forwarded from Jenny to Fi to Ant (all post-docs) to me, and I've now forwarded it to the rest of my lab... obviously we have nothing better to do with our time :P

Candia

Earlier today, I saw an online advertisement for Candia milk and unfortunately the first thing that popped into my mind was Candida yeast. Hmm... either I have a weird mind, or this isn't a very well-named product. Out of curiosity, I randomly decided to do a Google search for Candia and see what came up.

I was a little surprised to find that not only was there a Candia Milk, UK, company, but Wikipedia also says that there are French and Italian milk manufacturers also called Candia. In addition, it is also the old Venetian name for both the island of Crete and its capital city. So maybe it's not such an unfortunate name after all.

In any case, it's not as unfortunate as Lesbos Island. I wonder, did one of the biologists or sociologists who worked on sexuality studies have something against Greek islands?

weighed down by family ties

These last few weeks have been even more busy than usual for me. My experimental load is increasing all the time, especially since I'm now moving into my last few months in the lab. I don't imagine that I'll be able to do all the loose ends up in time, but at the very least I'm trying to identify which are the structural threads of my project and finish the framework for a model. Add to that presentations that need writing, and experiments that have to jump the priority list queue for impending papers. Add to that lots of lion-dancing again, moving house, and various weddings and celebrations that need to be slotted into my schedule.

So I'm very thankful that my friends and family have been so understanding about the way I've been neglecting them lately. It's been several weeks since I've rung my parents in Hong Kong. Every two weeks my poor mother gets three lines of e-mail telling her that her only daughter is too busy to ring her and that she'll try and do it NEXT weekend instead. Having said that, my parents were supposed to come back to the UK at the end of July. They're now contemplating a holiday to Korea and so may not be back til the end of August. Suddenly I've become our family's 'official representative', as my brother puts it, at various family weddings this summer.

But when you're working to deadlines and have a long list of things to do, it's a massive relief not to have to worry about other people as well. In that respect, I feel very very lucky. Last weekend, one of my friends came very close to breaking down. She's also a final-year PhD student with similar deadlines to mine to meet, so I know how stressful the workload is. But in addition, at the moment her mother and family are going through a rough time and she's holding her mother together both financially and emotionally. She and I both want to continue in academia, but whereas I have the freedom to look for a research job in the country of my choice, she will be unable to do that. She can't afford the uncertainty of being on a three-year contract with no guarantee of a job after that, especially with the low salaries that post-doctoral researchers get. But whilst she's holding her mother together, who's holding HER together?

Over the last few years, several of my friends have essentially had to give up their freedom and independence either to look after their families or in deference to family pressure, or both. It makes me very sad to see them have to put their dreams and hopes on hold, maybe giving them up completely. Perhaps that's why I've become increasingly impatient and less sympathetic with friends who have drifted along for a long time, with no apparent pressing commitments. Although I understand how easy it is to lose direction, I find it hard to offer as much support and sympathy as they seem to ask of me.

Oddly, or so it seems, the friends who are most supportive and considerate to me are those who have the most on their plate. Or maybe it just feels that way. But I'm very thankful that I don't have to feel weighed down by my responsibilities anymore, as they've been lifted off me one by one over the past year. In fact, I feel obliged to spread my wings and aim as high as I can, because there's nothing stopping me from trying. Maybe that is also a burden, but at the moment it's a very light pack to carry.

Round 2: Democrats vs Republicans

So the Democratic Party have finally got their presidental election candidate, and Clinton is finally out of the race. They took their time about it! Now the Democratic party can start concentrating on the general elections instead of fighting it out between themselves.

I'm curious as to how supporters of Hillary Clinton will vote in the autumn. How much damage have the Democratic campaigns done to voters' confidence in their party and/or their confidence in Obama? Whilst Clinton and Obama have been 'battling it out', the Republicans have had the advantage of campaigning as an unified force, and preparing themselves. Whist the Democratic candidates have been telling people why NOT to vote for their opponent and casting doubts onto the other's ability to govern, McCain has been telling them why he will make a good President.

Over the last few decades, the issues that people and governments have had to worry about have been of an increasingly global scale. Gone are the days when 'strong' countries ignored everyone else and felt secure in their own insular environment. For one thing, it is less clear which are the 'strong' countries and which are the 'weak'. The balances of power are more evenly distributed now. People are in general also more aware of what is going on in the wider world, and more concerned. Global warming, substainable resources, epidemics, world poverty, terrorism, these are being flagged up more and more.

In times like these, it's hard to say which way the scales will tip for Obama. He's young, has idealistic views, and can be said to represent a new direction for America. Things are changing in the world and as such, flexibility and a fresh outlook can be a major advantage. On the other hand, in times of change, people also look for stability and experience. Will Obama be able to convince people that he has the necessary strength and leadership skills?

The next few months will show us how well the Democratic party can work together and forget their differences as they support their chosen leader. Otherwise, it's hello to another four years of a Republican US government.

something to learn every day

Things I learnt today, in the 9th month of my 24th year on this earth.

1) Pots that have been used to boil soup on the stove tend to be quite hot. Use oven gloves or a thick tea towel.
2) Do not keep your fingers on the narrow edge of a closing door. Otherwise it WILL hurt.
3) Driving and steering is more difficult if your fingers have just been trapped in a door ten minutes beforehand.
4) Remember that you need your purse or some sort of currency to pay for items you want to buy in a supermarket. Try and realise this BEFORE you get to the checkout if you want to minimise embarrassment for yourself and inconvenience for other people.
5) Nothing ever works in science. Don't even bother to get too excited about anything until it's all but set in stone. And even then, make sure it's not sandstone.

I don't mind learning new things. But I wish I didn't have to RElearn the same lessons all the time.

"The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate." - Douglas Engelbart

In which case, I have the potential to be VERY mature.

words for love

I love you.
愛してる.
Ti amo.
Saya cinta mu.
Je t'adore.
Saranghaeyo.
我爱你
Ja Tebe Kokhaju.

funny, how such simple phrases have the ability to make you feel so happy, or cause your heart to ache.

I need to think less and sleep more.

Earthquakes don't only affect humans

(photo from Xinhua newspaper)

I've just read that due to the earthquake activity in Sichuan, there isn't enough bamboo available to feed the pandas in the area (Chengdu has a major panda sanctuary). So the authorities are feeding them congee instead. This article caught my eye, partly because it's sounds so cute, and also because I hadn't really thought about how the earthquakes have affected the wildlife in the area on a longer-term basis.

I think this is a natural response. The initial reaction to any crisis of this kind is to save as many people as possible and then start to worry about the logistics of providing food and shelter. This is where aid charities can help the most - whilst the government and local communities concentrate on rescuing people (and in this case, pandas too) relief organisations are vitally important for making sure that the survivors have enough food and water to stay alive. Although aid help isn't a long-term solution, people can not start to pick up their lives and start again as best they can if they have no resources or worse, hope. What has greatly encouraged me is the way local Chinese with the means and ability have rushed to set up food stations and provide help to those in need. Even more encouraging is how the government appears to be working with these individual groups to provide relief, and also admitting its shortcomings that have contributed to the massive death-toll figures still being counted.


I wonder, if it were not pandas that were being fed congee that could be fed to hungry people, whether there would be an uproar. But the panda is not just any animal, it is a much-beloved national emblem for China and holds a rather special place in people's hearts. More importantly, the private and state response to this disaster has for once been very open. The feeling is that they are putting as much as they can into the rescue and relief effort. When this is the case, I doubt that people will really begrudge the pandas their share of aid.

Weather forecast on the confocal

The weather is being a bit funny lately. As usual. Sometimes I wonder what we would talk about in the UK if we actually had a more stable climate. Not that we don't have meaningful conversations, but it does mean it's easier to have random conversations with complete strangers on a rather non-controversial topic. Even if the weather behaves for a while, we can still comment on whether the BBC weather forecast has, for some reason got it RIGHT for once (though that's probably just due to the laws of probability - it has to be right at some point. Surely). Or if we'll have a drought this year (it never ever ever has but we still get hose pipe warnings). Or flooding in the summer as soon as it starts to rain again (i.e. two days later).

It was nicely hot and sunny last week, so much so that when the air-conditioning was broken in one of the labs I got visitors whilst I was in the chilly confocal room. Actually, I didn't mind being in the dark and cold for once, although it meant I was missing out on the sunshine outside. For one thing, now that it is officially 'summer' the sun goes down so late that I still got some melanin-inducing rays after work. For another, after sitting in the sun at lunch I was thankful for the cool temperature the microscope has to be kept at.

Now that it's gotten cooler again, I've reverted to wearing a jumper and gloves in there.

'Britain doesn't have climate. It has weather.'

By the way, the whole point of this entry was to show off some of the images I've been getting recently....

What to do in Manchester

People often ask me what there is to do in Manchester. I guess in actual fact, it's not so much what there is to DO but rather what there is to see. Especially if you love architecture. The juxtaposition of so many architectural styles is part of what I love about Manchester, and to me represents the hotpot of people that you can meet there.

But what is there to do?
- Wander around the crafts markets either at Piccadilly Gardens or St Ann's Square
- People-watch on the balcony overlooking Piccadilly train station (modern but with Victorian elements)
- Ponder over the tulip/onion-like fountains in St Ann's square (Victorian/Edwardian buildings) with the live music in the background if it's a Sunday.
- dim sum lunch in chinatown or further out (the Chinese arch is much nicer than those in London)
- study egyptian mummies or measure your heart rate at the Manchester Museum inside the University of Manchester main building (gothic)
- stand and squint at the Town Hall (gothic), Central Library (neo-classical?), G-Mex (Victorian aspects) and Bridgewater Hall (modern), all within a few hundred metres of each other.
- Broaden your cultural education at the Manchester Art Gallery (neo-classical facade with a strangely sympathetic brick/glass/steel extension)
- Cocktails at one of the bars in Deansgate
- walk around Castlefield (ex-Roman fort) and pretend to pilot a biplane or steam engine at the Museum of Science and Technology (Victorian ex-railway station)
- squint through the gate at the Coronation Street film set at Granada Studios.
- shopping!
- Feel arty at the Cornerhouse or catch an art film/play/ballet down Oxford Rd
- Have some 'PROPER' curry, complete with chip butty and mushy peas (the fluorescent green kind)
- Wander round the free exhibits at Urbis and then go over to the Triangle and sit in that peeled orange that is supposed to be a Cafe Nero
- Have a hot chocolate (with marshmallows!) in the Moet and Chandon cafe and look out of the window into the space pods on the Manchester wheel.

Further outside Manchester -
- Manchester United stadium, just to say you've been
- Salford Quays! Just to get some calm and quiet, or to visit the Lowry, or shopping outlets, or the Imperial War Museum North, or to look at all the different bridges constructed in the area....
I love this place
- shopping at the Trafford Centre, if only to look at the over-the-top kitschness of it all (modelled on Meadowhall, Sheffield, by the way)
- Bolton fish market, where you can get a crate of sea-bass for 25 quid
- ice-skating at Altrincham (where I wore out several pairs of jeans during my teenage years)

- Alton towers. Yesss!
- Blackpool. Not so sure, but must go at least once in your teenage years if you're a Mancunian. Ideally on bank holidays where there's so many people you can't see in front of you. And ooh and ahh at the rather skimpy (but famous) night illuminations. But full of Victorian elements. Including some Victorian bathing huts still scattered around further away from the iron Blackpool Tower.

The list goes on...and on.....and Ariston. (If you remember the washing machine advert back from when we were kids...)

Manchester is fun. :P

Only problem is of course............ it's always raining. So don't forget your brolly.

Home

I went up to Manchester for the weekend, to get away from Cambridge and recharge my batteries at my 'other home'. Originally three of my friends were going to come with me, but two of them dropped out quite late and so only one was brave enough to put his life in my hands and risk the drive up to Manchester with me at the front wheel. I guess maybe I shouldn't have told them that I've never driven so far before and that I only got my licence at Christmas....

There's something about going back to Manchester that never fails to make my heart lift everytime I see the familiar buildings and when I know I'm nearly back. Manchester is still very much my home, having spent the first 18 years of my life living on the same street, within walking distance of the hospital I was born in, and close to my first school. Many of my friends still live in Manchester, and my friend from Cambridge was dragged around with me as I met up with friends and family (my parents are away, but several of my cousins have now located there).

However, part of me felt rather sad. There are so many memories attached to Manchester for me, both happy and sad. Parts of the city has changed a lot, but still recognisable, and at every corner images from the past flooded my memory. But I think Manchester will no longer be a big part of my future, because I don't feel strong enough to move on from the past if I were to stay there. So where to go next?

Although I'm torn between anticipating the future and fear as my ties are cut away, I know I'm very lucky. My friends in Cambridge have helped me learn to soar up and aim high, but my friends in Manchester keep me grounded and lend me their strength to keep going. And my family? My extended family are my safety net, because I know they will always catch me if I fall. And although I doubt that I'll go back to live in Manchester, at least I always know where to go to touch base.

Manga at Urbis

I went to Manchester this weekend, and there was an exhibition on manga ^_^. So I thought I would just rub it in for Daniel (My project deadline is not so urgent, so I can find the time to go away, and to cap it, I have manga to look at. So :P)

Actually, the bits I loved most were the cute doodles that were decorating the wall spaces AROUND the main manga images. And there was a Darth Vader helmet with a Pikachu-like smiley face on the headpiece.

http://www.urbis.org.uk/page.asp?id=3225

Sorry Jon, I went without you. But I'll go again next time I'm in Manchester and your exams are over!! Yaku soku...

PS More blog on Manchester later.....

One of Jackson Pollock's works. Illustrates the state of my mind lately.

My motivation levels have hit about minus ten million lately. That includes the lack of motivation for lab work, for keeping up with the latest literature for my field, for socialising with people, ringing up friends, cooking, eating, etc etc. I have about 5 or 6 drafts for blog topics on the go, only, I lack the motivation to finish writing them. And then I have to delete large chunks because the news references I've made are very out of date.

I even went to the Fitzwilliam museum to wander around the gallery and get some inspiration. Normally that never fails, especially if I then go back and do some sketching or painting. But for quite a long time now, the feeling of calm and control I draw from my art has eluded me.

However, it appears that my ability to complain and moan has not.

PS- no comments needed. The writer for this blog will recover shortly, probably after being given a big kick up the backside and a gag. In the meantime, the editors offer their sincere apologies for the extended lack of quality in the material currently on display. Hopefully abnormal transmission shall resume shortly.